Into the Wild.

After talking with several friends, I was reminded of a night when I watched Alex Supertramp's story. Still the same longing, but changing ever so slightly as the days go by. 

5/8/13

I just want to go. Into the wild. That’s where my heart is. I long to go. To live life fully like that. No boundaries, no limits. Lucky and free. Free from the expectations that society suffocates with. My soul yearns for all that I’d learn and to have eyes to see, living lucky and free. To brave the great unknown, with nothing of my own, living from adventure to adventure. No expectations, no agenda, but meeting people who I’d otherwise never talk to. Living off the land, gaining the deep insights into the Truths of the depths of mankind. Seeking life to it’s fullest, without a plan. No fear of reputation, no limitation of career or money, but living day to day, enjoying all that is for just that. What it is.

Seeing creation thrive, watching how nature keeps alive and living alongside it, both willing to survive. The great unity and simplicity out there so entices me, I can’t keep my mind off that restoration of harmony. I know it’d eventually get lonely, but what peaceful rest there would be. Escaping the grimy claws of our culture and society, who demands and screams hat I need to be, my career defining all of me, living for more so I can simply be happy. How desperately and utterly empty that is. If that’s my life then I don’t want to live. I know there’s so much more, so let me escape to what’s in store.

Why do I have to be a young female, who’s not permitted to go and find life for herself. I must plan plan plan, but I long to let go and just trust. To love and learn. To see life by each moment, not how much I earn. I never want to be defined by the American dream, loving to increase selfish self-esteem, but I’m desperate to break free, free from the biting grips of what life ‘should be’. No, I want it as it is. Messes and all. Not sugar-coated with illusions so it’s easier to swallow.

But let me go. Please let me fly and you may just be surprised at just how high is possible. The fullness of potential. The richness that’s available.

One with the birds and the trees, needing nothing more than to simply be. Living in solidarity with the animals, walking hand in hand as we stand in the potential of life. This journey dotted with all kinds of beings can be full of beauty and joy if you’ll only let yourself see.

I never thought a movie, one man’s story, could connect so deeply with my soul. But it does. How can I be satisfied with a life of anything less than the above? Into the wild, experiencing a new side of love. So find me one ho will brave this unfavorable journey that’s so entirely worth it and let us live and KNOW what it means to live life together.

I’m convinced we’ll come back to this beauty of solidarity where we come to know and grow in depth of love for all around us.

These quiet times are all well and fine, but I know there’s so much more. Like a floodgate, a wooden door just waiting to be burst opened. And I crave that fullness like a bat to a cave and I don’t know if I can live with anything less. Reading is good and it teaches, but my heart beats for experience, knowledge that reaches the depths of who I am. I can know something but until I open my eyes to see past the inevitable disguise to embrace that thing for what it is, not what I perceive it should be, I’ll never really own it.

So release me from this leash I’m tethered to and free me to walk boldly and freely into the wild. Not living a safe life where I can predict the fortnight, but a life of reckless abandon. Lucky and free.

The wisdom and insight I’d gain is invalueable and I so long for the surreal to shake my perception of reality. To see things I never thought possible, noticing that which was previously unnoticeable, reflecting on the Truths of those who have gone before. We get so caught up in the clutter of the ‘necessities’ of life, so bogged down by the expectations of how things have always been, faking a grin to show our support of the sort of behavior that strips us of vitality, crushing our ability to really live. But I want to break free, shatter the chains binding me to a life I never wanted.

So that’s my dream. Into the wild.