Rest.

Here's a reflection/prayer I wrote a while ago and stumbled upon:

Rest is good. Rest is a gift. Rest is necessary for sanity.

In rest, he still loves us. He still holds us. He definitely still teaches us.

In a culture where time is money, where the faster you go the better you can be,

Where a full schedule is seen with honor, where reading a book is a waste of your summer,

Where we must always produce efficiently, productivity becomes the god that we begin to believe in. Something to use to gain momentum.

But I’m learning I can’t keep up.

I’m so young, but my body is ready to give up.

I’ve been going ever since I can remember, feeling guilty for resting, from January through December.

He’s teaching me, and teaching me over again, what it means to be still and simply know him.

I feel I’ve lost touch, something I long for yet I do nothing to try to restore that relationship, to be still and know him.

I never shut up and my talk fills my head day in and day out,  over and over again. I try to listen, but my mind is just not trained to do that.

It seems I’ve lost the capacity to hear what he could be saying to me, I’ve let go of some of the most life giving things to me.

Sitting on a porch swing. Watching the river and trees. Reading a good book and just feeling the breeze blow swiftly, soaking life in. Enjoying every meal and the time spent with family and friends. Sipping coffee and writing until my ongoing train of thought ends.

I miss those things. And this mindset of productivity has robbed me of seeing that they’re becoming tarnished and dull instead of filling every part of me with joy and light that has the power to reach all who surround me.

So today I ask for the grace to rest. Yet against a spirit of laziness. I pray the things that once breathed life into me can once again fill my soul and give me wings to float with the joy that only being truly alive can provide.

I want to hold my bible once again, flipping the pages until the trail of discovery ends. I want to look down on the page and experience the power in those words, meditating on just one verse or even one word. Draw near to me and give me the grace to draw near to you.