Dare to dream.

Oh the freedom in dreaming.

In allowing yourself to feel, your heart to sing to the tune of the song it desires to live.

I fear I’ve pressed these dreams down, compacted them like brown sugar and suppressed the beautiful doodles that could and would spoke off of them.

I’ve been just trying to keep my head above water, no time for dreams or love or feeling. I’m afraid there have been points where I have become numb in order to keep my head above. It seemed like I didn’t have time to entertain any thoughts or allow my mind to dream of the powerful things that could and would be accomplished in life. What God could do, where he could lead, what beauties I would see along the way.

But today. Today I will dream. I will see what song my heart sings. I will feel, I will speak, I will write.

Maybe one day I will write, a book, a collection of stories or poems. One that breathes life as it permeates the reader with a deep connection and solidarity with those who already walk in life.

Maybe one day I’ll sing. I’ll write songs and become good at an instrument, breathing life though music.

Maybe one day I’ll dance. Now, I’m not talking waltz or swing, but the kind of the streets. I’ll learn to breakdance and go to underground dance battles, meeting people and hearing stories most will never hear because they’re afraid of the streets.

Maybe one day I’ll soar through the air as a stewardess, learning what it means to live in an airplane, experiencing the anxiety that some feel through being there to help.

Maybe one day I’ll teach. English, Spanish, art, music, kids, teens, adults. Using each day as a chance to grow and encourage them to say what’s really on their hearts, allowing them to be known and express themselves through learning, through growing, through making mistakes.

Maybe one day I’ll found an organization. In another nation. One that god uses to radically change lives, restoring hope and life holistically through whatever it may entail, opening doors to see a beauty I’m only dreaming of.

Maybe one day I’ll be a wife, a partner in life to one whom I see reality through, whom I see beauty and love and God through. Learning to support and love and work through the things that will be tough. Being sanctified through and through, learning to love outside of myself.

Maybe one day I’ll be called mommy, my eyes being opened to the deep mysteries of God, of the gospel, that only a mom can know and cherish through the act of being a parent. Walking side by side with one who looks to you for everything, maybe I’ll be the kind that teaches my child to sing, but not just with his vocal chords: with his life.

Maybe one day I’ll live where it’s not safe.

Maybe one day I’ll learn to appreciate my mistakes.

Maybe one day I’ll have my PHD

Maybe one day I’ll live at sea.

Maybe one day I’ll know all the languages in the world.

Or understand all the cultures and religions of the world.

Maybe one day I’ll play piano and guitar well.

Maybe one day I’ll be able to tell you an endless string of stories of a Kingdom and how it’s breaking in.

Maybe one day I’ll see those I love most be reunited with a God who loves more.

Maybe one day I’ll experience redemption by seeing the one no one had any hope for soar through the clouds on wings she didn’t even know she bore.

Maybe one day I’ll understand and rest in the tension that characterizes all of life, making it worth living.

Maybe one day I’ll be a part of making blind eyes see.

Maybe one day I’ll understand the fullness of reality.

Maybe one day I’ll look out my back door onto a calm lake that lies in the foothills of beautiful mountains, with a humble home that is just big enough to host a host of beautiful people in, living and sharing life together, experiencing love and restoration through the mere presence of the others. Gathered around the fireplace, or outside on the porch or the deck, or even lying on the lawn looking up at the billions of stars.

Maybe one day I’ll look back and praise God for the ride he’s took me on, perfectly content with who he’s growing me to be, able to see the world clearly with no regrets, just a deep peace that says he gave me all I needed.

Maybe one day I’ll close my eyes, knowing it may be the last night, but being at peace, holding close the one I love as I fall asleep.

Now I could go on, and I know that I shall, for my mind is now unlocked, the cage beginning to open, as I watch this dot of a doodle grow into a flower, then a sailing ship, then a sun, then a moon, then a swallow flying over an entire city that has been moved by the presence of beauty. It just grows and progresses, and the beauty is that whether it all happens as I picture or not does not define my contentment.

It’s not in the achieving of these dreams that gives me my value or assigns me the measure of my human dignity.

So I shall dream, for now my mind and heart are free.