1.15.14

In the last 3 weeks I have gone from Indiana to Chicago to the DR to Florida to San Jose, Costa Rica to Heredia, Costa Rica. So many things to process and to take in. And not sufficient time to do it. From seeing family and friends over Christmas to spending New Years with my sister to an adventure with Evalina and Maria in Santo Domingo to arriving in Costa Rica and being very disappointed with the study abroad program I chose to moving to a new university in a different province. Three guys from Point Loma who were my neighbors got robbed at gunpoint, I'm in an indoor soccer class where I am the only female (and the worst soccer player by far), and I live with the sweetest family ever. I like this new program, but it's proven difficult to make friends. It seems many of the local people here are very comfortable with the groups of friends they have and are not interested in meeting anyone new. And like I noticed with the exchange students in high school, all the Americans stick together like glue (not a fan of that either). It sheds a whole new light on students at Olivet. You begin to see with new eyes that the new girl from China who is sitting by herself "reading" is really wishing she had the courage to walk up to you and ask your name. The guy from South America who seems really friendly when you see him would really love it if you invited him to do something with your group of friends.  I will humbly admit that I've been very intimidated to meet anyone new, but this morning I realized that I had forgotten an important truth. I have nothing to lose and nothing to prove. Yes, it may be strange for me to go up to someone and talk to them, but if someone came up to me at Olivet, I may initially think it strange, but I would be interested in getting to know them. It takes courage. And that's respectable.
In the words of my brother (quoting a muppet movie) "People is people is people." Yes, there are differences in culture. Yes, I cannot communicate nearly as well as I want to because it is a different language. Yes, it will be uncomfortable to take the first step. But how beautiful it is to break down walls. Cultural, language, personality, nationality walls. To see what this time will unfold, and receive what it is.
Why do I hesitate? Why am I intimidated? What's the worst that can happen? I never talk to them again? That they think I'm weird? Well, newsflash, I'm a foreigner, so I already am before I even open my mouth. I pray that the ease of Freshman year (even though I felt the same way at the time) comes back and I can have some kind of confidence in what is going on. What's the best that can happen? I make a new friend and experience life with them. And by the grace of God, I get to participate in the restoration and healing of their life, as they participate in mine.
So far, my classes have been quite interesting. My indoor soccer class is outside and I got so burned the first day. It was a big humbling fest not only because I was the only girl and I'm not good, but also because these guys have played soccer all their lives and are very competitive. Then I had a history of Latin America class. Like 6 ticos and the rest gringos. The prof talks SOO fast. It's incredibly difficult to understand her and almost impossible to follow her. Even the Costa Rican students said she talked fast. I think I might have a friend in that class. She is incredibly sweet. Met a sweet girl through one of the guys in my soccer class. But today I haven't met anyone. And it'd be really easy to But I must trust that God will provide friends. He will not leave me in a place where I cannot survive. But I must trust. And what freedom comes from that .It's just having the eyes to see the opportunities and courage to take them. Today I have another class, then tomorrow at 7:30 in the morning and 3pm. Friday, class from 9-12 then we go to Arenal Volcano. Like 100 gringos all going to be incredibly touristy at a luxury hotel complex right next to the volcano. Yay. (not)
My host mom is the sweetest lady in the world and I'm so thankful to get to spend time with her, her husband, and her 2 daughters. But I must humbly remember that it's not all about me. As much as I selfishly wanted the family to myself, another girl asked to move in with us and she moved in this morning. It will be good. Kill my pride. These people were perfectly fine before I came and they will be perfectly fine when I leave. And when I do leave, I will have an even deeper understanding and solidarity with those like me. We shall see how this semester unfolds. How I learn to trust. How I learn to step out. But all in the perspective that this is just another step in the rest of my life. I don't want to waste it. So I will let go of my will. And participate in what follows.