Connected. from February

Everything seems to be connected. Like a ball of yarn that winds and wraps around the earth, life is interwoven together in a way that can’t be ignored. Although I’ve been ignorant of it for 21 years, with a glimpse here or there of the seeming connectivity.

But it’s all connected. The physical. The emotional. Even spirituality.

When my body is off, this illness of whatever kind it is inside me, it overflows into my emotional mood, the way I relate to the people surrounding me. It brings my mood down into the depths, a reflection of how I physically feel. Or physical exhaustion is directly proportionate to emotional exhaustion, both leading to doubt and spiritual oblivion.

As humans, we are multi-dimensional, multi-faceted, but these multis are all related and united in each of us. And they’re connected to each other on top of that.

When I feel spiritually distant from God, doubting his goodness and reality, I distance myself from those around me. I push them away, hoping to stay protected, as I attempt to protect myself from God. When I am fighting what God is doing, I find that I’m fighting those I care most about, for no apparent reason. When I’m fighting to find my identity, over who I am in Christ, I find that I fight everyone close in my life, not allowing myself to see me as worthy of their unmerited love. Their patience. So I fight. My relationship with God overflows into my relationship with other.

Does that mean my interaction with him in submission, in love, will also be reflected? This is what they mean when they say the most important thing at the end of the day is to be in right relation with God. Because everything else dangles from that aspect, that fact.

Just like x/y=y/z, they’re directly proportionate, connected in every way that I can see. Man to man, god and humanity. The physical affects the emotional which affects the spiritual and everything in-between. We are holistic beings. Which is why taking care of ourselves, being good stewards of the bodys our souls shelve should be a major priority. No wonder I doubt exponentially more when I’m physically or emotionally exhausted. And when I’m doubting it exhausts me on every level.

And how we relate to each other. It all comes back to the pyramid. It all overflows from that.

And across space and time, we are connected as humanity.

I know I don’t usually see it, but it is seen in the liturgy. In the way we see each of these things. The same words are being said all over the world.

August Rush.

August Rush

June raced by, July’s whizzing by, and Augusts rushing.

It’s easy to get lost in the way time is flying, to forget where I am or what I am doing.

It’s easy to get so caught up in the planning (or seeming lack thereof), counting down the days until I know what’s to be done.

It’s easy to become focused on the things I do wrong, the ways I need to improve, and how to become spiritually strong.

But today I resisted. I resisted the temptation to let this day rush by right in front of my eyes. Instead I slowed down and listened.

A solo journey to the embassy turned into an adventure, my senses alive, determined to capture something new. And I became August.

As the subway rushed along the track, as the cars rushed the street, as the people rushed up the stairs, stomping their feet, as the horns blew, and the trash did too, I listened.

As the smells mixed, some good, some bad, some powerful enough to asphyxiate even the strongest of people, I smelled.

As the birds chirped, as the wind blew, as the people talked, my ears captured the sounds, mixing them together to create a song, a song that cannot be bound by words.

As I used my senses, I heard music, a symphony, one that surpasses any that I’ve heard since I’ve been alive. Natural and raw, the music rang in my ears, a smile spreading across my face, my senses engaged and mind flowing.

As I walked along today, I slowed down and became August Rush.

And boy, was it a rush.

A Body United.

There’s something beautiful about unity.

About unity amidst diversity.

About a bond that supersedes any disagreement.

There’s something stunning about a body of people who are united.

In Spirit and purpose.

Of the same mind.

And that’s what I’ve seen in the church in China.

It’s amazing to see the church shine under the same head, all heading the same direction, directing their energies and actions toward the same goal.

The goal of redemption, of making broken people whole, holistically healing through the power of G od.

It’s amazing to see the church united, one body, not differentiated by multiple denominations, and denominations within denominations. There’s no quarrels over who’s right and who how to write the bylaws. There’s just unity. In a country where everything is monitored, they are still bolder than we are, growing rapidly, some would even say exponentially.

It’s incredible the power of a body united, not divided, for a house divided against itself cannot stand. But here they seem to stand together, as a people, a people seeking the reconciliation of a nation.

There are no questions of what church-type, what denomination,  what background you come from, but instead the church is bonded together by love. Something that may be absent in the city culture as a whole. We as foreigners must be as wise as serpents and innocent as doves, but they are bold. They are humble and hunger for more, more understanding of who G od is, but already understanding the power in standing together.

Government churches, house churches, family churches, small groups, pra yer meetings, it’s encouraging.

Encouraging yet humbling.

For I fear the church in America is falling apart.  There are so many issues to cause us to divide. We are blessed with deep Bi blical education, but with that comes the possibility of dissension because of different interpretation. We get caught up in so many things, forgetting what we are even arguing about. We attack instead of encourage.

What if we found common ground, grounded in the deep, unchanging Truths of Chri stianity, united as a body, working out our theology humbly seeking always the direction of G od. What if we stood together as a nation, under G od, driven by an overflow of love, reflection the perfect one, as water reflects the sun. What if we realized we won’t get there, we won’t see every detail, we won’t arrive, but instead of giving up, that caused us to strive together as a body that works together in unity.

Each member doing it’s part, but all working toward the same purpose.

What if we realized that we can unite on the core truths, on Mere Chris tianity.

Imagine if we were united in love. How the world would be.

Because, as I’m learning, there’s something so beautiful about unity.

Life Goes On.

Life goes on.

Actually, it rushes on.

When we just want a breather, when we are struggling to find clean air, when we are so exhausted we can hardly breathe, life goes on.

When we find ourselves distracted, late, attacked with the questions of life, life goes on.

No matter how slow I wish it would go, I’ve found that it does not listen to me. It seems to be one speed, and that speed is ever increasing.

Back then a month seemed like forever, and now a year flies by before I can blink my eyes. I can hardly keep up, the wind from the pace bringing tears to my eyes. But life goes on.

When we’re down and out, when we’re out of work, money, or out of town, life goes on.

A hospital visit won’t slow it down. No, checking out mentally, physically, emotionally won’t either. Even when our minds aren’t fully there, life is.

We can run, but we can’t hide. Life is quick. It can catch up wherever we try to escape to.

When our lives are jam packed, with working, personal business, eating, and maybe a bit of sleeping, life doesn’t slow down. Instead it seems to do the opposite, the turbo speed flipping up.

When we take a nap on our motor bikes, in a store or on a bench, life doesn’t sleep with us, but while we’re asleep it may throw in a wrench, catching us off guard, robbing us of precious time, but could we survive without sleep? Without rest? No. But even when we sleep, life goes on.

It goes on and on and we have no way of knowing when it will stop. So why do we always try to escape it? Can we never learn to embrace it? To stop and smell the roses (or stinky tofu)? To hold our children tight? To reflect on the happenings of the day as we say good night?

Can we not find time to slow down? To breathe? To maybe even sit down? Can we face each day with a smile and the decision to follow life, to embrace it, instead of always chasing it, hoping we can catch it and anchor it down? Trying to contain it and make it submit to our terms?

We can’t alter it, we can’t escape it’s speed, but one thing we may be able to do is alter our attitude, our perspective, the way we see.

Because either way,

Life goes on.

So Far.

So many emotions.

So many thoughts.

So many directions.

So many distractions.

Yet I will choose to stop and thank G od.

So far.

So far I have arrived in a new land that I will call home for a year.

So far I have met new people whom I will work with.

So far I have learned along with the students.

About optimism. About forgiveness. About love.

I have been reminded of how far I’ve come from the person I was when I was lucky and free.

I have been reminded that a life of simplicity is all I need.

I have been reminded of how powerful it is to plant a seed.

So far I’ve grown and can feel my heart softening.

I can truly say my love for these people is blossoming.

I’ve explored the streets, smiled at people who stare, seen what it means to truly care.

I’ve tasted incredible new food, as well as food that’s not so good.

I’ve seen the stark contrast between lifestyle in the same neighborhood.

I’ve been discouraged and intimidated, yet hopeful in healing.

I’ve seen students change, a 180, a flip from floor to ceiling.

So far I’ve stepped out and in front of a class of people who are older than me with a stash of wisdom I can’t even fathom.

I’ve seen flowers, green trees, and even black swans.

I’ve run the streets, breathed the pollution and even seen people sweeping dirt lawns.

I’ve enjoyed Mongolian milk tea and cheese; I’ve heard stories of the grassland and even heard strong Mongolians sing.
So far I've been amazed at the trust built in just a few short weeks, resulting in life-giving conversations that happen as G od speaks.

I’ve gone into alley, into stores, and fumbled my way around, attempting to communicate with the little I know, but determined to grow in my Chinese.

I’ve watched and I’ve taught, I’ve gotten very hot, and every day I’ve noticed I get stared at a lot.

I’m learning that failure doesn’t mean stop, but keep on giving a try.

And I was even welcomed with several days of clear blue skies.

So far I’ve been spoiled by grandparents who have taken me under their wing,

I haven’t gotten trapped in my mind, getting crippled by the way I think,

And I’ve even gotten to hear Nancy sing.

So far I’ve had some time with a roommate who loved to talk, I’ve felt the thunder and rain, and I’ve had to find solitude in a very short walk.

So far I’ve eaten mangos with yogurt for breakfast sever times, I’ve stumbled and fallen, but I think I may be learning to fly.

I’m not sure what’s going on inside, and I’m not sure why, but for some reason redemption seems more possible, life more alive.

It’s been a very eventful few weeks as I go along for the ride.