Just Go.

Why do I hesitate? Why do I think about something so much that I overanalyze it to the point of death. The paralysis of analysis and irrational fear, a hesitation that causes me to suffocate in what if’s because I never actually DO.  

Nothing to lose, nothing to prove.  I know it logically, but it’s still sinking in deeply. What if I had asked that guy with the longboard if I could give it a try. The worst that could have happened is that he ran off with my bag that only held my bible and my phone never to be seen again. And the best that could have happened  is that they would have been shocked that a gringa longboards, we could have become friends, and I could have had a boarding gang. But I hesitated. Maybe because of the fear that everyone has instilled in me, maybe because of my pride or insecurity, maybe because they were both already staring at me.

Or like that time when I wanted to play soccer with the group on the beach. I could have let fear overtake me, or intimidation of the reality that I didn’t know what I was doing, or the fear of rejection if they didn’t let me join, but what’s the worst that could have happened? They say no, give me a mean look, and I go back to sit with my friends, nothing to lose. So me and a friend joined their game and what a good group of amigos we made. They took us out that night, to the town’s festivals and a walk on the beach. Now I may be going to Nicaragua with the German girl and her Tico guy, all because I didn’t let fear drive me away and make me hesitate to the point of no action.

So what a sweet lesson I’ve been learning, since the first day, that when I’ve got nothing to lose and nothing to prove, I’ll be amazed at the beauty that results from that freedom when my foundation is already solid in Truth.